TGIM! Today is a big day for me. I had made up my mind to move out of Alaska a few weeks ago and today I’ll be shipping my car and the majority of my belongings that were important enough to make the move. It was interesting to sort through my things and come to realization how unimportant so much stuff was. I made a list last night to keep myself on track today and to reflect on how important this day really is. My list began with a 3:00AM wake up and included some important things like sending a good morning text, breathing with intention, drinking water, capturing some gratitude, visualizing the future I want and packing and all the logistical pieces that come with readying my car for shipping.
I’m reflecting on this blog because I’m a bit taken back with my two year break from this. The more time passes the more I’m understanding how important and valuable it is… and how quickly it will pass if I’m not intentional about it. I’m tired of sleeping though life and letting it pass by with a begrudging attitude, then wondering what the hell I’ve been doing. So, here I am reflecting with intention.
Part of my 23 item checklist was to list 10 things I appreciate about myself, and 10 things I appreciate about those around me. This is mostly for my future self to read when I’m having a shitty attitude and I need to talk some sense into myself… and to hold my self accountable for the things that are really important to me.
Ten things I appreciate about myself:
- The love and compassion I have for people. Let’s be real, it’s a challenge to stay soft in such a hard world. The benefit of doing this out weighs the risk ten fold. I might get hurt or taken advantage of now and again but I appreciate the way that I intentionally remind myself to live life in love.
- My journey of self discovery. I wouldn’t be who I am today without my story. Although there were so many times of confusion and changing in ways that wasn’t in alignment with my authentic self, I’m here and I love myself.
- The grace that I have for myself. This morning, I had about a second of disappointment for the fact that I added time slots to my 23 point schedule and I’m now, at 6:00AM, way behind schedule. The grace that I have for myself reminds me of the priorities, the end goal and that it’s okay to be flexible and forgive myself for not adhering to my late night micromanaging self schedule.
- My voice.. (wow that was challenging to say out loud) I’m actually struggling to add more context to this one but I think it’s obvious with this post that I’m proud of my own voice and recognize the importance of it yesterday, today and tomorrow.
- My humor and ability to make myself laugh. Laughter is medicine and I appreciate that the role I play in healing myself.
- The intentionality I’ve taken in gratitude and appreciation. This has been such a game changer in helping rescript my thought process and looking for the good in life.
- My stamina and will to keep on keeping on. (and my grace for when I want to lay in bed all day)
- My body for holding together all these years and helping me to be in tune with my self and my environment.
- My physical ability to see. I have 20/20 vision and I think I under appreciate the ability to just be able to wake up and see. Oh.. I was kind of being funny about this item but after I wrote it and read it out loud (and laughed a bit) I realized that this is an affirmation about my life vision. I’ve spent so many years downplaying what I want in life and changing my path and direction for the sake of someone else with a facade of uncertainty. But now that I’ve moved closer to my authentic self, I’m realizing that I’ve known what I wanted for my life all along.
- My current awakening to self. I’ve been meditating a lot on my authentic self and I am so proud of myself for refinement, realization and recognizing that I’ve always been me.
Ten things I appreciate about those around me:
- First of all, shout out to my daughter for teaching me lessons I would of never been open to receiving if I wasn’t a parent. Aaliyah has brought so much joy and opportunity to grow and learn in the last decade. I can’t help but pause and appreciate her presence. I appreciate a lot about my kid, so expect a few of these to be about her.
- I appreciate Aaliyah’s voice. I’m so proud of her for being bold and having the courage to talk to me and let me know if I’ve done something that doesn’t sit right with her. She’s checked me more times than I can count and I am at first, taken back, but mostly proud that she can stand up for herself and her feelings too.
- I appreciate Aaliyah’s resilience and ability to bounce back from so many things. Babygirl recently had to get stitches on her face from falling off of a penny board and the day after she got stitches she was sharing with me the difference between a penny board and long board and how excited she was to hop into her long board.
- I appreciate my mom for always being there to help me. She’s actually snoozing in the other room, waiting to wake up and make sure she available to help me with this big day.
- I appreciate my brother, Joshua, for unquestionably being there for me. I’m so proud of the man and father he’s become and I just love being close to him and his family.
- I appreciate my sister, Dora, for her laughter and lust for life and family. Also for birthing a bunch of babies that look just like me (haha!) I was feeling so out of place this year and I spent one day home with the fam and immediately knew I was missing my tribe. I think Dora farted and walked away, then Bubs burped in my face and smiled and I couldn’t help but laugh and feel at home.
- I appreciate my sister, Jacqueline, for her courage throughout this pandemic. She is such an amazing mom. I’m so proud of her and the way that her kiddos follow her example.
- I appreciate my brother, Jeremiah, for his intellectual curiosity in things that are interesting. I’ve learned a lot about myself from tools suggested by my bro. Actually, I’m proud of both of my brothers for the roles they play in their children’s lives. It’s a reminder to myself not to settle for anyone who would do anything less for my own children.
- I appreciate my cousin/sister, Emily, for always listening to me and being there for me when I needed a good friend and a good laugh. Emily has always heard my stories and supported my decisions and everyone deserves a friend like that.
- I appreciate David, for being such a huge factor in my awakening to my authentic self. He’s been there for me for so many years, sending me tools, checking up on me and making sure that I’m ok. Over the years, he’s inspired my booklist, my lust for self-help, self discovery and eating healthy.
This list is not inclusive of all the people I love and appreciate, just my Monday reflection.
Life is Lovely 